Advice I Give My Friends That I Should Listen To: Self-Love Edition
If you’re like me, you give great advice to the people that you care about. If you’re also like me, you don’t listen to your advice, despite how phenomenal it is! Today we will go through different self-love practices that I remind my friends to use in their day-to-day lives — advice I know I should be listening to too.
With Galentine’s Day and Valentine’s Day coming up, I know it could bring up feelings you may not be ready to handle or confront. Whether you are single or in a relationship, it is good practice to love yourself first. I look at it with the analogy: I am a glass half full, and I need to fill myself up. If I am a half glass and give myself to others, I will never be a full glass. If I work to love and appreciate myself, I can be full and overflowing with water to give to others. In friendships and relationships alike, it is essential to put your relationship with yourself first.
I mentioned this in my very first blog post, so I want to reiterate how vital self-compassion is. It is so easy to be hard on yourself and critique every little thing you do wrong. Being human means making mistakes. Just because you make them does not mean you should let the thought of them control your day. We make mistakes, try to understand where we went wrong, and move forward. It is okay not to forget, but it is not okay to hurt yourself with the thought that your mistake defines you. I say, when you fall down, excuse yourself, and stand back up. You are not the only one making mistakes, so give yourself some leniency. Remember to be gentle with yourself.
Get to Know Yourself
What are the things I need for myself? What am I able to bring myself? What may I need help on? What happiness do I give myself? These are questions I consider a lot. Invest in discovering important things about yourself: beliefs, values, likes, dislikes — etc. This can be beneficial in any relationship you have. Know what to ask for and what you can offer yourself. You deserve it all, do not believe otherwise.
Ask for Help When You Need It
No one can succeed entirely on their own, no matter how hard they may try. Keep in mind that it is okay to reach out for whatever support you may need. You can go to friends for a quick hype up because they love you easily for who you are. They see the best in you when it may be hard for you to see the same. Know that you are never alone, despite how it may feel. People are willing to support you in loving yourself first.
Do Not Compare Yourself to Others
The best thing about you is that there is no one like you. You are unique. You can admire the happiness and successes of others but look within for the same in yourself. You are your own person on your very own path and have so much to be proud of that was your own doing. You can set up the standards for yourself based on what you see fit. Do not base your worth on someone else’s life because the truth is, they probably admire someone else as much as you admire them. Allow yourself to admire yourself first.
Do Not Focus on People Not Liking You
There will always be people you won’t mesh with, but that is neither of your faults. Focus on yourself and the people you surround yourself with that make you better. Those are going to be the people that support you on your journey to self-love. You can do everything and not change the way another person looks at you. The critical thing to focus on is how you view yourself. Make this person (YOU) your priority. Care more about how you feel than what others think about you.
Write Yourself a Love Letter
This is a challenging task but a rewarding one. Take some time to sit down and write yourself a love letter. What are the things I am in love with about myself? i.e., I love how much I love talking to others. I love that I make people feel happy with themselves. Take a moment to reflect on everything amazing about you! Even if it is little, like I make my bed in the morning, that is enough to constitute something great about you that you do for yourself. Detail the good things you do for yourself because you deserve it. You take care of yourself because you are important — to yourself and the world.
It is so easy to love others because we are inclined to find the best in people. Similarly, it is so easy for others to love you because of all of the best things about you. Live by this thought process: If you want your friends to love themselves, you should be prepared to love yourself too! I wish you the best of luck in doing so. Until then — I am Katie, and I hope you have a fantastic day, week, month, and year of self-care and self-love. :)